Abjection - EP

by Introvert

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Euclid
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Euclid This EP has a lot of chuggy-beatdown type parts, and also mixes in some nice electronic experimentation. This is a great first EP, hope to hear more soon Favorite track: Accepting Rejection.
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about

The last year of my life is a nightmare.

credits

released December 26, 2014

Drums, Vocals: Connor Welsh
Guitar, Bass, Programming: Eric Fletcher
Mixing and Mastering: Eric Fletcher
Huge thanks to Devin MacGillivray, Daimien Hartranft and Tyler Haile for their guest appearances. Additional huge thanks to everyone at ChugCore for supporting and releasing the EP!
All lyrics written by Connor Welsh, except for Tyler Haile's contribution to "She's My Pangea"

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license

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about

Introvert Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Introvert is a frantic, aggressive introspective look into the mind of a maniac.
Michigan//Pennsylvania
Heavy.

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Track Name: The Hand I Was Dealt...
You are the script I wrote and threw away
You are the reason I hate myself and feel this way
You are every turn I should have taken
You are every road I should have followed
You are the reason my voice is shaking;
You are the handful of pills I wish I swallowed
You are everything to me;
You are everything I couldn't be.
You are the why I lay awake at night
You are the cold sweat drenching my brow with fright
You are the chills racing down my spine
You are the noose I fashioned from twine
You are the reason I waste each day waiting to die.
You are the stool kicked loose from my feet.
You are the life that won't leave me.
YOU ARE MY END AND MY BEGINNING
YOU ARE THE LAST THING THAT MADE LIFE WORTH LIVING
NOW YOU'RE GONE, GONE AND YOU WONT COME BACK
HOW CAN I CARRY ON WITH YOUR KNIFE IN MY BACK?
I HOPE YOU FUCKING HEAR THIS SONG AND DREAM OF ME
I HOPE YOU CRIED AT THE FUNERAL WHILE THEY BURIED WHAT WE COULD BE.
I HOPE I POISON YOUR MIND,
DON'T GO TO SLEEP
IM IN YOUR DREAMS, THEY'RE A FUCKING DISEASE.
Track Name: ...And How I Dealt With It
In my head lies a spider's web
Every thought I've ever had
Sits tangled and dead
Just to get devoured by the ghost that you left
Crawling through my mind so I'll never get rest
-
I remember when I used to be reliable
Now I scream till my throat bleeds
And I can't breathe
Everything I know
Has left me hanging from the bottom of a fucking rope
Help.
--
Sick of missing you
Sick of losing hope
--
If I can't convince you we were worth saving
Or sort through all these things I'm feeling
Maybe we're better off
Hanging from the ceiling.
--
This is my complete lack of composure
My only fucking source of closure.
Track Name: Accepting Rejection
I put my roots in the ground
Desperately trying to grow
But the second I tried to move
They only dragged me below
---
I feel like I'm missing every opportunity
That every face I see is secretly
Laughing at me
So fucking sick of trying to be
The best man I can be
So give me a noose and a chair
Let this rope set me free.
---
I wanna make you feel
The same way you made me:
Broken, desperate, tired and weak.
I'll take a fucking hammer to both of your knees;
Pull out your tongue so you won't ever fucking speak to me.
---
I'm too stubborn to move on
Too stunted to grow
All my habits and routines
Left me trapped in a hole,
Oh,
safe, safe [repeat in background]
These should have kept me safe
Erased,
Scared and I'm feeling out of place
---
I should have moved on
I should have learned how to grow
I should have left this behind
But I stuck with what I know
I know I'll never belong
I know I was wrong all along
I know I tried to stay strong
I know you won't
Miss
Me
When
I'm gone
--
If pessimism is a crime, then I am guilty till I die
I’ll let my body rest in dirt
I hope my soul will fucking fry.
Track Name: Suicide Shiva (Featuring Devin MacGillivray of Villains and Daimien Hartranft of Irrita)
I've been pulling hair out of my head
Make a rope. Tie a knot. Fuckin' hang till I'm dead.
I'm plagued by these things I'm feeling;
Better off hanging from the ceiling.
Or maybe stuff it back down my throat
Till i choke
Just to throw it all up
Like the lies that you spoke.
-
Her lies have me losing hope
--
I'm plagued by demons
The ghost of you
Kicking and punching at my head
The product of abuse
I would die
Just to escape these ghosts
But life won't be leave me behind
No matter what I try.
--
This is the end of my rope
I hope, I hope
I'm hanging at the end of my rope.
--
Anxiety
Runs its hands along my spine
Weaves it's fingers through my ribs
And fucking rapes my mind
First one through the door
Always the last leave
One day I'll dig a six foot bed
And lay myself to sleep
-
This is the end of my rope
As I lose all will
The voice in my head spoke:

(Devin)
I've spent three years fighting demons cause by anxiety.
Just when I get the upper hand,
They get the best of me.
They ripped up the roots I planted
Stripped my dreams of the seeds
Fashioned rope out of my hope
So they can hang me.
But I won't let them win;
Between the gun to my head
And the blade at my wrist
I refuse to give in
I'll put an end to all this

(Daimien)
I feel my self control slipping away,
sinking below
It won’t do what it’s told.
It's clear these demons won't rest until I'm fucking dead
I'll sink this blade beneath my skin
I'll blow them out of my head.
Farewell
Goodnight
Absolved of failure. Absolved of blight.

Plug this hole in my noose
With my head and my neck
I hope my tombstone reads:
(All Three)
"Here lies a nervous wreck”
Track Name: She's My Pangea (Featuring Tyler Haile of Up In Smoke)
I'm disgusted by the hoops you made me leap through
Disgusted by everything I did to impress you
I lay awake at night,
Skin cold from fright
I’ve won war after war
just to lose the fight
So yeah, I guess I changed
But not like you stayed the same;
I'm sick of playing inning after inning
Just to lose the game.
(Acapella)
I hope the tears freeze in your eyes so you can't see
This fucking monster you've forced me to be.

(Tyler Haile)
--
Damned if I do and dammed if I don't
If you don't give a fuck then I'm better off dead.
I’m better off dead.
--
I can't believe you,
You fucking disease
Poisoned my veins
Stripped the leaves from my tree
I can't believe you,
You fucking thief
Snuck in my head
And stole all my dreams

I'm drowning,
Drowning can't you see?
When the time came
You saved yourself not me.
I am the shore and you are my sea.
Crashing to my head
And stealing pieces from me.
Track Name: False Positives//Double Negatives
The demons in my head share a single name
They share a single heart housed in a single frame
She is the ghost of every happy moment you shared;
Every smile she faked, each time you thought she cared.
She has this way of getting into your head
Stealing your life
And leaving you for dead.
She is the empty chamber in a game of Russian Roulette
She’s the time you won’t get back and all the money you spent.
She is anxiety.
She is the death of.
The scars on my hands
The blisters on my feet.
And all the tears I bleed.
-
She is the end that never comes at quite the right time
She is the life that just won’t leave me behind.
-
I’m sick of songs about you
Screaming for help
I’m sick of folding these hands
Of the cards life has dealt.